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ial for
perjury. Here's the money. What do you intend to do with it?"
"My wife and I are going to travel," Miller replied. "We'll go to
Stockholm, Berlin, Rome, Athens and, finally, to a place called Lourdes --
where, gentlemen, you'll see yourselves one hell of a miracle."
%
Father: Son, it's time we talked about sex.
Son: Sure, Dad, what do you want to know?
%
A guy goes over to his girlfriends house to watch a video movie. The
cute girlfriend is called to a rear bedroom by her aging grandmother.
While gone the guy munches on some peanuts from a bowl in front of the
TV. The peanuts are so good he downs the whole bowl full. A few
minutes later the girl comes back into the living area with her
grandmother by her side and she introduces her to the guy. He says,
"Sorry, but I ate all those peanuts, they were delicious." The
grandmother says, "That's OK honey, I don't have any teeth and I can't
eat peanuts, but I did enjoy sucking the chocolate off them!"
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First cow:you heard about this mad cow thing
second cow:I have
first cow: aren't you worred?
second cow:No I am a duck
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There was a Texan, a Californian, and a Washingtonian camping in the woods.
By the campfire after dark the Texan opened up a bottle of Yukon Jack, took
a swig, thru the bottle in the air, pulled out a double barrel shotgun, and
blew the bottle to pieces. The Washingtonian looked at him and said, "Why
didn't you finish it?" The Texan replied, "It's okay, we've got plenty of
Yukon Jack where I come from.
The Californian then pulled out a bottle of Cabernet, took a sip, then
threw the rest in the air, pulled out a 38 special, and shot the bottle. He
then looked around and said, "That's okay, we've got plenty more in
California."
The Washingtonian then pulled out a bottle of Micro-Brewery Ale, drank
it all down, tossed the empty bottle in air, pulled out a pistol, shot the
Californian, and caught the bottle. He then looked over at the Texan and
said, "It's okay, we've got plenty of Californians in Washington, but I have
to recycle the bottle."
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A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard.
The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He
says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."
The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's
too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of
hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a
board. Then he stuffs the worm back into the hole.
The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the
hair spray and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes << 上一页 [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] ... 下一页 >>
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