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or that really counts.
%
A young married couple had their first child. Their original
pride and joy slowly turned to concern however, for after a couple of
years the child had never uttered any form of speech. They hired the
best speech therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, all to no avail. The
child simply refused to speak. One morning when the child was five,
while the husband was reading the paper, and the wife was feeding the
dog, the little kid looks up from his bowl and said, "My cereal's
cold."
The couple is stunned. The man, in tears, confronts his son.
"Son, after all these years, why have you waited so long to say
something?".
Shrugs the kid, "Everything's been okay 'til now".
%
America, Russia and Japan are sending up a two year shuttle
mission with one astronaut from each country. Since it's going to be
two long, lonely years up there, each may bring any form of
entertainment weighing 150 pounds or less. The American approaches
the NASA board and asks to take his 125 lb. wife. They approve.
The Japanese astronaut says, "I've always wanted to learn
Latin. I want 100 lbs. of textbooks." The NASA board approves. The
Russian astronaut thinks for a second and says, "Two years... all
right, I want 150 pounds of the best Cuban cigars ever made." Again,
NASA okays it.
Two years later, the shuttle lands and everyone is gathered
outside to welcome back the astronauts. Well, it's obvious what the
American's been up to, he and his wife are each holding an infant.
The crowd cheers. The Japanese astronaut steps out and makes a 10
minute speech in absolutely perfect Latin. The crowd doesn't
understand a word of it, but they're impressed and they cheer again.
The Russian astronaut stomps out, clenches the podium until his
knuckles turn white, glares at the first row and screams: "Anybody got
a match?"
%
Is Windows a Virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
1) They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2) Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system
as they do so - okay, Windows does that.
3) Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay,
Windows does that too.
4) Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with
valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.
5) Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too
slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with
Windows, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental
differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running
on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and
they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So Windows is
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