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three wooden legs?"
The farmer stared at the newcomer in amazement. "Mister, when you
got an amazin' pig like that, you don't eat him all at once."
%
A woman went into a hospital one day to give birth. Afterwards, the doctor
came to her and said, "I have some... odd news for you."
"Is my baby all right?" the woman anxiously asked.
"Yes, he is," the doctor replied, "but we don't know how. Your son
(we assume) was born with no body. He only has a head."
Well, the doctor was correct. The Head was alive and well, though no
one knew how. The Head turned out to be fairly normal, ignoring his lack of
a body, and lived for some time as typical a life as could be expected under
the circumstances.
One day, about twenty years after the fateful birth, the woman got a
phone call from another doctor. The doctor said, "I have recently perfected
an operation. Your son can live a normal life now: we can graft a body onto
his head!"
The woman, practically weeping with joy, thanked the doctor and hung
up. She ran up the stairs saying, "Johnny, Johnny, I have a *wonderful*
surprise for you!"
"Oh no," cried The Head, "not another HAT!"
%
A real estate agent, looking over a farmer's house for possible sale,
commented to the farmer how sturdy the house looked.
The farmer replied, "Yep, built it with my bare hands... did it
the hard way. The steps to the front door, here, carved 'em out of
field stones... did it the hard way. That hardwood floor in the living
room, dovetailed the pieces myself... did it the hard way. The ceiling
beams, made 'em out of my own oak trees... did it the hard way."
Just then, the farmer's gorgeous daughter walked in. The farmer
looks over at the real estate agent who is trying not to stare too
obviously and smiles. "Yep... standing up in a canoe."
%
A pickup with three guys in it pulls into the lumber yard. One of the men
gets out and goes into the office.
"I need some four-by-two's," he says.
"You must mean two-by-four's" replies the clerk.
The man scratches his head. "Wait a minute," he says, "I'll go
check."
Back, after an animated conversation with the other occupants of the
truck, he reassures the clerk, that, yes, in fact, two-by-fours would be
acceptable.
"OK," says the clerk, writing it down, "how long you want 'em?"
The guy gets the blank look again. "Uh... I guess I better go
check," he says.
He goes back out to the truck, and there's another animated
conversation. The guy comes back into the office. "A long time," he says,
"we're building a house".
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For example, in Year 1 that useless letter 'c' would be dropped to be
replased either by 'k' or 's', and likewise 'x' would no longer be part of the
alphabet. The only kase in which 'c' would be ret 上一页 [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] ... 下一页 >>
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